2017 is officially in full swing, and I’m back on the west coast. My two week trip to New England was my longest yet since moving to Seattle eight years ago. I still didn’t have enough time to see all the people I wanted to see and do all the things I wanted to do. But Sean and I had some spectacular moments and memories for the books. And sharing William with my family and closest friends was, well, magical.
This morning when I woke up, I did what I always do: checked my phone for the time. Checked my text messages. Maybe the weather… and a news headline or two.
Well, I looked down for a quick moment and realized that W was staring at me. And staring at the phone screen. In fact, craning his neck to see what I was so interested in on that little device.
This has happened at least a dozen times in the last couple of weeks. And it’s kind of terrifying.
It’s scary because William is totally catching me NOT being in the moment. Am I really trying that hard to be mindful if my child is more aware of my phone use than I am?
Ok, so I realize I’m only 3 1/2 months in… but here’s what I’ve noted about parenting so far. (I’m sure this list will get much, much longer… and wiser… as time goes on.)
I have had some incredible highs since parenthood began. Hell, even just the excitement of discovering I was pregnant. I felt myself connecting with a little human right away.
And I was pretty comfortable keeping him in my belly. When coworkers would ask if I was “ready,” I’d say, “Welllllll there’s a few more things I want to get done before he shows up.”
But, omg, it’s so much more fun HAVING him in the world.
Our little boy is changing by the hour: new expressions, movements, and sounds. He is very observant of the world around him. And he has become quite the conversationalist — he coos back and forth with us… and we melt.
Earlier this month, we had the opportunity to spend a weekend at our friends’ cabin near Leavenworth. It was so generous of them to offer it, and we made the most of our time away: morning strolls, wine tasting, real estate hunting (why not?), German food, shopping, and lots of snuggle time with our little guy.
My mom was here for three weeks in October. If you wondered why my posts dropped off, now you know.
Our visit definitely had its ups and downs, but overall I enjoyed spending time with my mama. And I don’t think William has a bigger fan: she loves (loves!) this little boy so very much.
I’ve heard a lot of stories of courage lately. I’m not sure if that’s because my loved ones are doing more courageous things, or because I’ve been paying closer attention to it. Probably a combination of both.
I have a couple of posts in the queue, but they seem inconsequential compared to the grief and loss I feel related to the election. And I know I am not alone, and I count my family and friends among my blessings — not just for who they are, but for what they value and what they represent.
I have been thinking a lot about what it’s like to have a new baby and have Donald Trump elected as president. In some ways, it’s heavier and more depressing. In other ways, it’s relieving to see W’s innocence, his smile, and his oblivion — it makes me hopeful. And I am grateful that I don’t have to elucidate the political landscape to him. As my friend Julia remarked, it would be a whole lot harder to explain this to a five-year-old.
I’m kind of a mindfulness junkie.
I have always enjoyed a good yoga class, but I think my interest in mindfulness really took off when my book club read Thích Nhất Hạnh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness a couple of years ago. I read it while Sean and I were in Cannon Beach for a long weekend, and I now look back on that trip as one of the best weekends of my life. I was so present for everything we did together, and present for our relationship.
I like this definition a lot:
Last weekend, we were feeling a little restless and wanted to get out of the city. I was hoping to see some fall foliage (it was Columbus Day weekend after all — oh, how I miss New England), so we decided to take a day trip up north, driving Chuckanut Drive to Fairhaven.