That itch is still there. The itch to keep writing. I feel like I have something to say.
I can feel my degree within reach, and of course that leads to my next question of — What am I going to do with all that “free” time? (Ha, ha) In order to start thinking about how I will refocus my energy after grad school, I thought I would start by looking back on my favorite moments of 2017:
–Starting off the year with a trip back east to see friends and family. We ate Greg’s Pizza, went to the SoWo CoSto, bonded W with his family members, and hosted a party on New Year’s Day.
–The feeling of my first day on the slopes in Park City last winter. The ultimate high.
–One morning on the lake this summer, my brother and sister and I talked for a couple hours or so while everyone else was busy sleeping or fishing. Conversing and sitting with my siblings in that moment was one of the best feelings of family I’ve felt in years.
–William’s love of books and reading books. Now he points out objects that we ask him about and he says “this?” to every new noun. Baby brains are like little sponges — he picks up on everything.
–Taking a class on managing diversity.
–Driving to the valley in the fall with Sean. It was our first weekend away without W and the four hour drive flew by. It felt so good to connect with him again– we recognized we were still the same people, still the same couple, at the core of our relationship… and yet that new layer of parenthood on top sometimes becomes less of a sprinkle and more of a thick icing layer that you can’t really break through again. Talking without interruption was a gift.
–Dinner parties with friends and neighbors. I cannot get enough dinner party conversation.
–William’s hugs and “kisses.”
–The first few months of my new promotion, feeling a sense of pride and wonder and confusion and possibility and fear and optimism and freedom all rolled into one. Some of that excitement has worn off, some of that responsibility is weighing more heavily, and now I see that change can come as quickly or as slowly as your team wants it.
–Having an exec coach — guidance, cheerleading, and the bigger picture.
–Witnessing Sean’s parents tell each other 35 things they loved about each other in honor of their 35th anniversary. Yes, it was also a total solar eclipse. Yes, we were all crying.
–Reading Map of Enough, about a Middlebury grad who builds a yurt in Montana after years of moving from place to place. I enjoyed her ruminations about geography, that maybe searching for a new place is actually about searching for your own self, or trying to uncover your old self that you lost along the way.
–Sean leaving his job over the summer. We waffled. We talked about it for hours on end. We fought it. The decision was like a clock pendulum, back and forth, back and forth. And then we did it and I couldn’t believe we had mustered up the courage. That leap of faith is one that we will need to continue to revisit. That’s a door that I hope stays open for us.
–My dad’s impromptu trip to Seattle in November, all on his own volition.
–Hanging out with and keeping in touch with some of the best ladies in the world who always inspire me and make me feel whole again.
–Attending Sean’s cousin’s wedding in Ojai. Beyond the beauty of meeting more of his extended family, I loved one of the toasts, which talked about never being afraid to be honest.
–Wrapping up 2017 on Kailua Beach with my two favorite boys– one playing in the sand and chasing dogs; the other swimming and drinking an IPA. Pure gratitude for that moment.
2018 is here !