When I started this little ol’ blog, I knew the hard part would be keeping it going. I’m really good at starting projects… but finishing them? That’s a whole other story. Ask my friends about the time I signed up to take four J-term classes (cooking, guitar, ski tuning, and…?) — and then withdrew from each of them a week later. Whoops.
The blog is hard. There’s no deadline. There’s no one knocking on my door or tapping my shoulder saying, “go do that.” Being back at work, it’s easy to let the blog slip.
And, of course, like most creative things, there’s the voice in your head that says — no, don’t put that out there yet — it’s not strong enough. Not good enough. You have so much more to say.
Here’s what I have to say in this moment in time:
Summer is here! At least, it has certainly felt like it the last couple of weeks (you wouldn’t know it based on my photos below). W has been rocking shorts and his sunhat this weekend and I really like seeing those chubby thighs more often.
Grandparents to the rescue. My in-laws were here for almost ten days because our nanny was home visiting her family. W loved the attention. And in April, my mom came for a long visit, too. This was especially great because Sean ended up having to travel for work. Seeing W with his grandparents brings him a lot of joy and it brings me a lot of joy — yes, the basics of being able to take a shower in the morning and get ready for work while he’s taken care of — but also because it reminds me of my own grandparents, who, if I haven’t said it enough on this blog, brought me a whole lot of joy and a unique viewpoint in my life. I think of them often and they are a huge part of who I am today.
Appreciating home. When we returned from our third weekend away in the month of March, I told Sean I just wanted to be home for awhile — it had become hard to keep up the house, get things ready for work, and just relax on a Sunday evening. We’re staying put for awhile.
Supporting partner. Sean is in trial prep right now, and his hours are insane. Beyond the rigorous schedule, his capacity to do anything else is tough. His brain is fried at the end of the day. My goal is to support and provide perspective. Of course, William’s snuggles seem to help, too (he’s such a cuddly boy).
Less doing, more being. My new position at work has forced me to realize that I can no longer do — at least, not nearly to the extent I used to. One of my mentors describes it as needing to spend my time coaching and supporting. The goal is that the team is shining, growing, and leading. And I have to spend a lot more time listening, asking questions, and guiding. Needless to say, this is my best and most powerful professional work to date. And the fact that it supports a mission of helping more kids find a loving, committed family… I’m in.
Finding inspiration. Courage is contagious — and I have again been blessed with friends who are taking on new adventures. Traveling across the globe, or becoming a yoga teacher, or taking on a new manager role at a growing company. I continue to be inspired.
Looking forward. We’ll be spending time with both of our families this summer — on a lake in New Hampshire, out in the Oregon country, and down in California for a wedding. I’m looking forward to it. And now we have to secure a date for my dad to visit in Seattle.
Back to the basics. When I started back at work, I kept saying — go easy on yourself. Don’t push it. Be forgiving. Now, three months in, I know myself — it’s time to add some exercise back into the routine. On mat leave, I was walking a couple of miles almost everyday. Before baby, I was hitting up barre and yoga three times a week. Now, I have to figure out something in between.
Dinner parties rule. We had some long, rainy days this spring. Sean and I found ourselves doing one of our favorite things together: hosting dinner parties. He mastered his Manhattan recipe and I loved having all seats taken at the table. Plus, I took a friend’s advice and started co-hosting: our neighbors Jackie and Mark make the best co-hosts, and then we split the cooking in half. The funniest was our dinner-party-turned-dance-party when Elyse and Chan were here. And William slept through the whole thing…