Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling nervous — I have two weeks of maternity leave left. I felt sad and uneasy thinking about the upcoming transition. How will William do? How will I do? What will happen to our bond? How will I have enough energy at work? What will the logistics be like?
The feeling lasted through the afternoon, and then Sean and I went to an Amara leadership dinner in the evening. Being surrounded by Amara board, and many staff members, put me at ease. Amara has, in many ways, become my family over the years. I’ve grown up there — the first position I had was when I was 23(!). Now, over seven years later, I can say that I am very comfortable there. And I’m challenged. And I find meaning in my work.
There are so many good things about going back to work. I’ve had five months off. I’m able to transition back to work slowly — starting part-time for the first few weeks. I’m able to work from home one day a week. William’s grandparents are going to watch him one day a week. We have an awesome nanny that we’re sharing with another family. I work with the mom of the other family, so I’ll have support throughout the day when things get tough. I love my job, and I have a great team to get back to. We have new initiatives and programs underway, and it’s exciting.
And yet? It’s still going to be hard.